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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687562">In Your Arms, I Am Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princeyssash/pseuds/Princeyssash'>Princeyssash</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Alex Has Anxiety (Julie and The Phantoms), Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:59:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princeyssash/pseuds/Princeyssash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex needs a hug</p>
<p>Or, 5 times Alex really wanted a hug +1 one time he got the hug he wanted (and deserved, someone give this boy some love)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), for like 2 seconds - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In Your Arms, I Am Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1<br/>Alex was thirteen when he realised he didn’t look at girls the same way his best friends (and bandmates) did. He liked girls, sure, but he didn’t look at them and think about what it would be like to kiss them. There was one girl in his class, Sarah, who he liked, but not because he wanted to kiss her or hold her hand. She was a dancer and he thought that was so awesome. <br/>He was fourteen when he realised that maybe he looked at boys the way his friends looked at girls. He looked at boys like he wanted to kiss them. <br/>He wanted to kiss boys, not girls. What did this mean for him? If he was gay he would've known before right, he should’ve known already. He wasn’t gay. </p>
<p>A few weeks later Alex and his bandmates were at a party some high school kids threw. He ended up in a bathroom with a guy he knew was a year above him, a sophomore, and before Alex knew it the boy kissed him. It was over as soon as it happened and as Alex stood in a daze until Reggie found him. <br/>“Alex, you okay man?” Reggie looked at him, hands fidgeting with the hem of his flannel, concern in his eyes. <br/>“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.” is what he said, but he wasn’t okay. He kissed a boy and liked it. He was gay. Fuck. <br/>He really wanted to hug Reggie and be comforted, but he couldn’t. What if Reggie found out? What if Reggie found out and hated him? What if Reggie found out and hated him and told Luke and Bobby? What if his friends found out that he was gay and they kicked him out of the band? He’d be alone forever. </p>
<p>2<br/>Alex’ friends hadn’t kicked him out of the band when he came out, like his anxiety had told him they would. In fact, they had hugged him and told him how proud they were for telling them. Then they told him that if anyone ever hurt him, they would make sure that person knew not to mess with Alex again. </p>
<p>A few days after coming out to his best friends and bandmates, Luke asked Alex to join him for a walk. A million doom scenarios went through his mind. They were going to kick him out of the band after all, they didn’t want to be his friends anymore, Luke hated him. <br/>Luke grabbed his hand and smiled, easing all of Alex’ worries without saying a word. As they walked, Luke kept holding his hand, only dropping it when there were people nearby. On that walk, Luke told him that he had a crush on him. On Alex. That’s how Alex got his first boyfriend. </p>
<p>They lasted almost six months. Almost six months of holding hands and cuddling on the couch and kissing. It wasn’t a fight that broke them up. It wasn’t that they disagreed or Luke being jealous or Alex being too anxious for a relationship. It wasn’t Luke being a bad boyfriend who only spent his time working on songs. It was both of them realising that yes, I love this person with my whole being but no, it’s not romantic love. It’s the deep connection you feel for a friend, the platonic kind of love that was more important to them than their family by blood. They were family. </p>
<p>They were family, but it still hurt. The breakup was mutual, but Luke had still been his first boyfriend. He didn’t have to miss Luke as a friend, as family, but he did kind of miss Luke as a boyfriend. <br/>He wanted to call Reggie or Bobby, or even Luke, for a night of distractions and maybe a hug or some cuddles. But Bobby was out of town for the weekend and he remembered Reggie saying Luke needed his help with homework, so Alex didn’t call any of them. <br/>He wanted to ask for a hug, but he didn’t.</p>
<p>3<br/>Alex knew coming out to his parents wouldn’t go well, he knew, but he had to. He couldn’t go home and pretend anymore. <br/>So he stayed seated at the dinner table after a tense dinner, watched as his little sister fled from the table as soon as she was allowed to go, and mentally prepared himself for what was about to come. <br/>He sat at the dinner table while he told them, hands fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie under the table and out of sight for his parents. <br/>He sat at the dinner table as he watched his dad yell. He knew he should listen to the words, but he couldn’t bring himself to hear the disappointment and anger in his dad’s voice. <br/>He sat at the dinner table as he watched his mother cry and pray and murmur ‘where did we go wrong’, he pretended not to be hurt. </p>
<p>Later that night he sat in his room and cried. He cried and cried and hugged a pillow to his chest, wishing Luke or Reggie or Bobby were there so he could get a hug and be comforted. But they weren’t there, and Alex was alone. </p>
<p>4<br/>Alex laid in the back of the ambulance barely conscious. All he was aware of was the searing pain all through his body. He didn’t think he could hurt this bad. <br/>If he looked to his right he saw Luke, eyes no longer seeing but looking up at the ceiling of the ambulance. Luke, their leader, their protector, always the first to get himself into trouble to defend Alex or Reggie or Bobby. Their lead singer, lead guitarist and main cheerleader. Without him, Sunset Curve wouldn’t have come nearly as far as it had. <br/>If he looked to his left he saw Reggie, looking back at him with pain in his eyes and a sad, soft smile on his face. Reggie, their rock, the one with a kind smile for everyone, the kind Alex wished Reggie would see someone else give him for once. Reggie, who had the kindest spirit of everyone he knew, who didn’t let anyone or anything take him down, even though he faced horrible things at home. <br/>He smiled at Reggie the best he could. He needed Reggie to know how much he loved him, how much he meant to him. He tried to reach for him, to hold his hand in the back of this cold ambulance, the last thing they would probably ever see. Alex’ finger twitched, but he didn’t have the strength to reach over and hold Reggie’s hand. <br/>As he closed his eyes and let the darkness in, Alex wished he could have hugged his best friends one last time. </p>
<p>5<br/>They came back as ghosts. They had died and come back as ghosts. It took Alex some time to get used to, and to be fair he still wasn’t entirely used to it. <br/>They’d met Caleb Covington, a man set on getting them to play in his band forever. He didn’t appreciate being told no. <br/>The surges didn’t start out as painful as they were towards the end. Yes, they were extremely uncomfortable but bearable. When Willie told them what was going on, all Alex could think about was that he was going to lose his best friends. Again. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing Reggie and Luke again. He didn’t want to lose Julie. They were the people he felt safe with, his protectors and the only people he would trust with his life, or rather his afterlife. <br/>Alex could use some comfort, but Luke and Reggie were busy and he shouldn’t bother them. He’d be fine, he told himself, he just had to take some deep breaths and tap a rhythm like he always does. He would be fine. <br/>It would be easier to be fine after a hug from Luke and Reggie, though.</p>
<p>+1<br/>Alex laid in a heap on the floor with two of his best friends. They didn’t cross over like they expected to. Instead, they were in a heap on the floor of the garage, their safe haven, about to die. No, not die. They were about to be zapped out of existence entirely. No more ghosts and no heaven or hell either. They would just stop existing. <br/>When Julie came to thank them, Reggie responded. Alex wished he hadn’t, just so they could have saved Julie the pain of losing them. </p>
<p>Then Alex watched as Julie hugged Luke, touching him, they were hugging. He was too stunned to point out that they shouldn’t be able to do that at all. That Julie was a human, made of flesh and bones, and Luke was a ghost, made of air. <br/>“I feel stronger,” Luke said, and gestured for Alex and Reggie to come to join him and Julie. <br/>Alex summoned the very last of his strength to get up and walk the few steps to the other side of the garage. As soon as he was close enough he felt Julie’s hand around his wrist as she pulled him closer to her, Reggie on her other side. <br/>They watched as Caleb’s stamp disappeared from their skin and vanished into thin air. They smiled at each other as they felt themselves grow stronger again. <br/>“Do you think we can try that hug thing one more time?” he asked, and they agreed. <br/>He hugged his best friends close to him and felt safe.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for making it this far xD I hope you enjoyed it! </p>
<p>Fic based off a random idea that popped into my mind during a conversation in the Julie and the Fantoms discord server</p>
<p>Come yell with me about this show on tumblr @/halfwaytoqueens</p></blockquote></div></div>
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